I was planning to post this today anyway, but then the Supreme Court ruling on affirmative action was released. As much as I want to share my immediate thoughts, I’m going to let the dust settle a little and choose my words carefully before addressing this development. Anyway, here’s something less important.

I recently visited New York City for vacation. Whenever I’m in town, I always visit the places I used to frequent when I was a grad student on the Upper West Side. I have very fond memories of my brief time there, to say the least. What’s funny is that when I applied to college many years ago, I had completely ruled out New York City or really any city that felt intimidating to me. Maybe it was the fear of the unfamiliar or my sheltered suburban upbringing, but I really can’t recall why I didn’t consider certain colleges or parts of the country. Of course, I didn’t have the access to information that high school students have today, but I have to admit that much of my information was based on my own perceptions. And maybe I wouldn’t have been able to handle Gramercy Park, but I still occasionally think about what I missed out on. When I meet with students, the topic of “deal breakers” comes up all the time, so I’d like to address some of the recurring topics. It’s not my intention to change anyone’s mind, but maybe this is an opportunity to change your own perceptions in a way that I never did.

“I don’t want to attend college in the Midwest”

Before any Midwesterners come at me, let me preface this by saying that I’ve lived on the west coast most of my life, so this is coming from the perspective of Californian teenagers who have also spent most/all of their lives on the west coast. It’s nothing personal. That being said, this is probably the most common deal breaker I’ve heard over the years. I’m not quite sure why the “flyover states” are so disrespected. Students seem to think that the coasts offer more opportunities for some reason, but the Midwest offers the same variety and quality of colleges as the rest of the country. If you like UCLA or Berkeley, consider Michigan and Wisconsin (anecdotally, the latter is growing significantly in popularity). If you want a medium-sized university, Northwestern and Wash U are brand names, but Case Western is probably one of the hottest schools right now. And there are plenty of liberal arts options, including Oberlin, Kenyon, Carleton, Macalester, Grinnell, and many CTCL schools. Add in the shorter flight, lower cost of living, and the Midwest nice culture and there’s a lot to like.

Some students express this in a different way: “I want to be close to the ocean.” If you are a competitive surfer, I would understand why that is important to you. Otherwise, you’re probably not going to the beach as often as you think. You’re going to be spending the vast majority of your time on campus, so just prioritize the campus experience over anything else.

“It’s too cold/hot/humid/dry/rainy…”

Somewhat related to the above, I totally understand this one, but it’s also a little surprising how often the weather comes up. I guess the best thing I can say is that college is going to be a completely new experience anyway, so if you have the opportunity to experience a new climate (not everyone does), then embrace the lifestyle change. I know it’s easier said than done. But think of yourself as becoming a local in your new community. When you live as the locals do and not as a tourist, college becomes that much more enriching and the weather ultimately doesn’t matter. You might even enjoy it as part of your sense of belonging. And if you can expand your wardrobe along the way, it’s not such a bad deal.

“I don’t want to be in the ‘middle of nowhere’”

I realize that these first three deal breakers are all related to location. It’s probably not a coincidence as location is a major consideration. I will reiterate that the on-campus experience is going to dominate your college life. If a college is located in a more remote area, the admissions office will be well-aware of that fact. They can readily address your concerns as they’ve likely done many times before and highlight aspects of their academic and extracurricular experience that will make the school feel like home regardless of their surrounding area. 

Perhaps this is also an opportunity for you to reconsider your college preferences. If you want to attend college in an urban area, why is that the case? What will that experience provide that another college cannot and will you actually take advantage of those opportunities? Is it possible that you are prioritizing the location over the school itself? 

“I don’t want to attend a women’s college”

Okay, I know this one doesn’t apply to half of you, but it’s still important to address. This is another one I completely understand, so I won’t do a hard sell here. Instead, I’ll let others with more direct experience do the talking. 

The following is an excerpt from the former President of Barnard College, Debora Spar. For the full interview click here and keep in mind that it’s an older interview and specific to Barnard. 

“...what the Barnard students experience is really the best of both worlds. They get the big diverse co-ed environment when they want it but in terms of both their classes, and more importantly their extracurricular activities, girls are the majority. Just by definition, the president of the student body is female. The leaders of all of the clubs are female. The young women really get an opportunity to be in a female environment and to develop intellectually, personally and academically, without always being conscious of being the woman in the room. The sense you get, even in the best universities in the U.S. is that women, even subconsciously, oftentimes feel that when they put their hand up they are giving the women’s point of view. You feel that you are somehow responsible for presenting a position, and that’s a burden. Whereas if you are in a Barnard class, you put your hand up and you are just being Deborah or Joanne, and I think that frees students to be themselves and discover themselves intellectually. By the same token, in terms of their social lives or the community life, it is this big diverse place.” 

Okay, maybe this is just a college President going through the usual talking points. If you want a student perspective, check out this post from a Scripps College student who recently graduated. 

“It’s too expensive”

It’s easy to look at a sticker price of a college and immediately rule it out. Before doing so, consider the following:

• Fill out a net price calculator on a college’s financial aid website and see what the estimated cost would be

• Research the financial aid policies and scholarship opportunities offered by the school

• Consider other scholarship opportunities and state grants that are available

• Apply to other colleges that are more affordable so you have something to fall back on

• Avoid private/parent PLUS loans and stick with federal loans in the student’s name if at all possible

• If you are a parent, consider opening a 529 plan or a Roth IRA

The reality is that even after every financial strategy is implemented, some colleges may just be out of reach financially. Even for colleges that meet “full demonstrated need,” I’ve seen families still responsible for a significant part of the cost because what the college calculated as their “demonstrated need” was less than what they had anticipated. The financial aid process is tricky and mysterious, but it’s still in your best interest to explore your options before ruling out a school based solely on sticker price.

Final Thoughts

I love New York. I didn’t love living in LA, but I actually enjoy visiting the city now. What they have in common is that I can't picture myself living in either city today, despite having formative experiences in both places. College is not where you’re going to spend the rest of your life, no matter how much you enjoy the experience. Even if you end up at your first choice college, there are going to be aspects of your experience that are less than perfect, so try not to let a singular aspect affect your overall impression. If you are researching colleges now, this is a wonderful time when anything is possible and you should approach your search with an open mind. Try to challenge your own perceptions, think about what truly matters to you in your college experience, and embrace the process.