The Pilgrim College Guidance Blog
News, trends, insights, and the occasional self-indulgent fluff piece
Photo credit: Jen Jordan Photography
The Difference Between College Counseling and College Consulting
Well, I did mention that there would be the occasional “self-indulgent fluff piece…” If this is the first blog post you’ve read on this site, I would probably recommend reading a different one. You’ve been warned. But it’s been a while since I’ve written anything and I did want to address this topic since I just finished my first semester at my new school. It’s been eye-opening how many families hire outside counselors even though they have a dedicated and experienced college counselor (not guidance counselor) at their disposal. In the past, I was annoyed at how many families hired out, but after consulting for a few years and now being back in the independent school world while finishing up with my current clients, it doesn’t bother me as much. I’ll share some insight into the difference between my work in both roles. I suppose my audience for this post is families who are part of independent schools who are considering hiring out.
Not A Normal Year
There’s something about the first week of school that never gets old. After a summer of personal transition and relative idleness, being around the energy of students again is a nice change of pace, even as application season looms. College admissions also never seems to get old, but for very different reasons. For such a cyclical process, no two years are ever alike. I’m not sure what a “normal year” would even feel like, but it’s definitely not this year. There are major changes that were announced a while ago, and a few that are more recent developments. Here are a few I’d like to highlight.
The Most Common “Deal Breakers” When Choosing a College
I recently visited New York City for vacation. Whenever I’m in town, I always visit the places I used to frequent when I was a grad student on the Upper West Side. I have very fond memories of my brief time there, to say the least. What’s funny is that when I applied to college many years ago, I had completely ruled out New York City or really any city that felt intimidating to me. Maybe it was the fear of the unfamiliar or my sheltered suburban upbringing, but I really can’t recall why I didn’t consider certain colleges or parts of the country. Of course, I didn’t have the access to information that high school students have today, but I have to admit that much of my information was based on my own perceptions. And maybe I wouldn’t have been able to handle Gramercy Park, but I still occasionally think about what I missed out on. When I meet with students, the topic of “deal breakers” comes up all the time, so I’d like to address some of the recurring topics. It’s not my intention to change anyone’s mind, but maybe this is an opportunity to change your own perceptions in a way that I never did.
Is it Possible to “Game The System?”
I’ve been getting asked a lot recently, “So how did this year go?” I know the real question is “Where did students get in?” And the real question is “Did students get into ‘good’ schools?” Without getting too much into specifics, I was pretty pleased with what I saw directly, despite another crazy, record-breaking application season. I also understand the overall sentiment. When something is hard to get, it just makes it that much more appealing, despite what the personal reality may be. But with the chase comes the feeling of doing whatever it takes to get that thing. I’ve seen it from students trying to write the perfect essay or being involved in some activities for the wrong reasons. I’ve found over the years that this has extended into the application process itself, as if there was an edge or angle wait to be utilized. It comes up often, even more so this year for some reason, so I’ll go ahead and address it.
Mental Health and the College Admission Process
I can’t believe this is my first post of 2023. I guess my break from blogging was longer than I had anticipated, but I’m excited to begin with some very important information. I am part of an organization of former independent school college counselors turned consultants (more on this in a future post) and we meet monthly to exchange ideas and best practices and hear from occasional guest speakers. We recently had the wonderful opportunity to hear from Alice Huang, LCSW, MA, who shared some thoughts about anxiety and resilience in the college admission process.
My Favorite Supplemental College Essay Topics This Year
I’ve read so many college essays and supplements over the years, and occasionally I like to look at things from the college’s perspective. You can often learn about a college’s values through their supplements. And since we’re at the end of the calendar year, I figured I would have some fun reflecting on what colleges have asked students to write about. Below are my top ten favorite supplemental college essay topics for this application cycle. Some of these prompts have been used for years and others are brand new, but collectively, they give insight into what matters to a college.
Talking About College During Thanksgiving
This will be a quick post for parents of juniors and seniors. We can all probably use a break right now, and luckily one is coming up. Thanksgiving is the time of year for family to get together…and talk about college. I’m kidding, but I’m also not. I recall in my youth trying to avoid pointed questions about my college and unrealistic life plans and more recently, I’ve had students express frustration about the Thanksgiving dinner conversation. Words like “ambushed” and “interrogated” have been used. Now that we’re officially in the holiday season (I’ve seen Christmas lights already), and especially with Thanksgiving coming up, let’s talk about talking about college.
In Search of an Identity - Reflections on the 2022 NACAC Conference
Maybe one of these years, I will write an individual post about every session I attended at the NACAC conference. It didn’t happen last year. And it’s not happening here. I have to confess that I was reluctant to even attend this year’s conference. There is never a convenient time of year for this event, but this year seemed even more hectic and uncertain than usual. I only went because…well, it’s NACAC.
What I Learned After My First Year of Independent Consulting (And How That Applies to You)
It’s been over a year since I made the move to the independent side after many years of college counseling at private schools. I have to admit that there are things I will never miss–waking up early, public speaking, course scheduling (if you know, you know). The past year has also presented some learning opportunities from how to create a passable website to “selling myself,” for lack of a better term. I’ve received tons of help along the way and I’ve also observed others from afar, taking note of what I liked and what didn’t sit well with me. I realize that as seniors begin applying to college, they’ve probably heard all sorts of advice, with varying levels of helpfulness. To high school students, I’m hoping that you’ll be able to connect a little with what I have to share about my professional transition.
Shouldn’t All Colleges Change Lives? Creating Your College List
I’m a huge fan of the Colleges That Change Lives (CTCL). If you aren’t familiar, these colleges are usually non-household names, but their smaller environments allow for a more intimate college experience. Their relatively higher admit rates belie the quality of education students receive. So why aren’t they more popular? I suppose there are just so many options out there that considering colleges with more of a regional appeal might be a stretch. I bring this up because all colleges change lives to some degree. The college experience coincides with a formative time in a young adult’s life and of course, there’s the value of the college degree itself. However, the significance of college seems to have been overlooked or at least underdiscussed over the last few years as the admissions landscape has become what it is. The life-changing aspect of college has been overshadowed by application numbers and the strategic element of the application process.
College Admissions Squid Game - Reflections on the 2021-2022 Application Year
If you have Netflix, there is a good chance you’ve seen “Squid Game,” the platform’s most viewed show of all time. In this South Korean survival drama, hundreds of cash-strapped people compete in a series of children’s games in the hopes of winning billions of won. I have to admit that I was hooked from the start. Like much Korean television and cinema, the major themes focused on economic struggles and social class, but midway through the series, I was struck with the premise in a much different way. I couldn’t shake the idea that the whole series was a metaphor for the college admissions process.
What To Do If You Are Waitlisted
I was originally planning on writing a broader reflection of this application year, but I decided I needed more time to think about it, not to mention research. It seems like every year, colleges have to update their “most competitive year ever” announcements and I do have some thoughts about this, but maybe now isn’t the time. Instead, I will focus on something a little more pressing for many students–the waitlist process. The unfortunate reality is that the waitlist is standard practice for most colleges now. It leaves students in a difficult position, but there are a few things you can do in response.
What Should High School Juniors Be Doing Right Now? – Spring Edition
I’ve always considered February to be a transition month. When I was a school college counselor, I would see symptoms of senioritis start to kick in as the juniors would begin their annual annexation of my office. It was always a fun time of year as the excitement of a new class would begin to manifest itself. February is kind of my September. But to juniors, this is still the middle of their overhyped yet still important year. I want to revisit a fall blog post about what I said high juniors should be doing. In this spring edition, you’ll see that many of the fall tasks have extended to the spring, but now we’re getting to the real work.
Q & A With Sean Kim, Freshman at Amherst College
In my previous life, Sean Kim was a student of mine who successfully navigated through the COVID application year and is now a first-year student at Amherst College. After finishing his first semester, he was nice enough to share some insight regarding the application process and college experience.
What Should High School Juniors Be Doing Right Now?
It’s approaching late October and I feel for high school juniors. The seniors who are applying early are well into the application process by this point. Meanwhile, the juniors are well into their “dreaded” junior year as they say, which is hopefully not as bad as people make it out to be. Maybe it’s a little too early to do anything college related. Or maybe not. Juniors, as your senior classmates and counselors are working hard right now, you might be taking some mental notes, but there’s a lot more you can actually do a year ahead of your time. Here are some things to consider.