What I Learned After My First Year of Independent Consulting (And How That Applies to You)

It’s been over a year since I made the move to the independent side after many years of college counseling at private schools. I have to admit that there are things I will never miss–waking up early, public speaking, course scheduling (if you know, you know). The past year has also presented some learning opportunities from how to create a passable website to “selling myself,” for lack of a better term. I’ve received tons of help along the way and I’ve also observed others from afar, taking note of what I liked and what didn’t sit well with me. I realize that as seniors begin applying to college, they’ve probably heard all sorts of advice, with varying levels of helpfulness. To high school students, I’m hoping that you’ll be able to connect a little with what I have to share about my professional transition.

In search of a hook

I knew from the beginning I didn’t want to name my private practice after myself. My name isn’t catchy enough anyway. Here’s the inspiration behind the name “Pilgrim College Guidance” if you’re interested, but I also wanted a name that I thought would stand out. Said another way, I needed a hook, and my hook happened to involve a significant experience in my life. 

The idea of “hooks” comes up often in the admissions world. You’re probably familiar with recruited athletes, legacies, URM’s, or those invisible institutional priorities. If you do not fall under any of these categories, you can still create your own hook. An extracurricular hook is a simple example. Maybe you are so committed to an activity or project that you took it to another level and even got others involved. Or maybe your hook is intellectual in nature. What do you absolutely nerd out about? I think sometimes there’s a fear of not being able to compete in the personal qualities category, but you still have a story to tell. On that note…

“Just be yourself”

Yes, this is the platitude of all platitudes in the admissions world, but it’s also what I was looking most forward to when I started this practice. When I meet with prospective families, I want to make sure it’s a good fit before committing to anything. Sometimes the fit isn’t there and I’ve even told some families that they probably didn’t need an outside consultant. Being myself has definitely worked out, which is good because I don’t know how to be anyone else. 

I also see the merits of this advice from a college applicant’s perspective and I still agree with this statement in a vacuum. It just sounds a little vague. Obviously, do not lie or over-embellish your applications and please write your own essays. This should all go without saying. However, “being yourself” applies long before the application process. It involves doing things that you actually want to do, which is great because it’s actually more compelling to be angular than well-rounded. It’s not that well-roundedness is a bad thing, but if you play tennis and the violin, joined a bunch of clubs and have volunteered at the local hospital (this was me in high school), there’s someone else out there who has done the exact same things. Again, it’s not a bad thing, but it’s harder to stand out and maybe you weren’t truly interested in some of these experiences to begin with. 

If you’ve found your element, then take it to a deeper level, find ways to apply your interests outside of school, become a leader within this subculture. Feel free to keep exploring other interests, but if you’ve found your “thing,” keep it up. And finally, being yourself involves finding your voice. It took me a while to find my professional voice, but all you need is a willingness to work on it. Applying to college feels like a checklist sometimes, but if you represent yourself authentically, you will find the right place. 

Know your limits

This one is a little harder for me to share and maybe also harder to sell. I’ll put it this way. By the time I was ready to leave my last job, I was completely burned out. Maybe it was the combination of the Covid application year with the last 13 years of independent school college counseling, but I was just physically and emotionally spent. And now after a year with a reasonable workload with the main goal of establishing myself, I already realize that this year will be different from last year and I will have to find that work/life balance again. 

High school seniors, however, have seemingly limitless energy, and sometimes that is reflected in their academic and extracurricular life, not to mention their college application process. If you have the bandwidth to apply to 25 colleges while maintaining your grades and some semblance of a social life, who am I to stop you? But a balanced college list has nothing to do with how many colleges you apply to and more about the composition of schools represented. 

As with being yourself, knowing your limits begins much earlier than you would think. Some of you may be experiencing that right now. If your time commitments are affecting your grades, that is one indication that maybe some changes need to be made, but if you’re also just not feeling it, then why keep doing it?

Control what you can control

Independence has presented its share of challenges, many of which I could not have anticipated. I’m still learning about the business side of this experience and the admissions landscape is as cloudy as ever. And yet, I’m also feeling as confident as ever about this transition. I am able to use my authentic voice in these blogs and in the way I counsel students and I’ve recently found a community of former independent school counselors who have made this same transition. For the first time in a long time, I feel complete autonomy.

During my last year at my last school, I wrote a statement to seniors and parents. In an attempt to decrease the stress of the Covid application year, my message was to “control what you can control.” My main concern at the time was that students were dwelling too much on what they couldn’t change. It’s been said many times that applying to college feels like going to a casino, and as much as I don’t like that metaphor, I will use it in this way. Yes, the game feels rigged at times, but there are rules you can take advantage of. Maybe applying early would make a difference. Maybe some casino games just aren’t worth playing to begin with. But once you begin the application process, your voice will be your biggest asset. And yes, it’s possible to be both authentic and strategic. They are not mutually exclusive. 

Was this at all helpful?

Maybe this helped a little, maybe not so much. In my next post, I will hopefully have something a little more practical to share as I recap my experience at the annual NACAC conference. The learning never stops and I hope it never will for you as well.